Revenge will not ease your pain

Revenge will not ease your pain

Manuel Zetina told his friend he’d kill a cop when he got the chance. I don’t know a lot about Manuel, the young man who murdered my husband. But what I do know allows me to infer some things. He was a minority. He was looking for the belonging and power that gang...
Missing Your Pandemic Buddy

Missing Your Pandemic Buddy

Grief is: missing your pandemic partner. Your trauma buddy. The person you process your decisions with. . . . Being in a global crisis has put all of us in uncharted territory. There’s no handbook for handling quarantine and all the physical and emotional fallout from...
Pasting on a Smile

Pasting on a Smile

Grief is: pasting on a smile. For a girl with a bad case of RBF, grief did nothing to help my smile. Honestly, it’s ok not to smile. (Lord help those JW missionaries who paid a visit after Micah’s death. My scowl was probably frightening. I didn’t even attempt to be...
The Twins’ First Broncos Game

The Twins’ First Broncos Game

Grief is: sneaky. Last night the twins and I were cleaning up after dinner. Lots of shuffling and wiping and replacing of bits. And I heard the tinkle of metal. And without missing a heartbeat, my mind told me they were Micah’s keys as he was coming home through...
Birthday Grief

Birthday Grief

Grief is: buying a birthday cake for your dead husband’s birthday and crying quietly through the aisles of Costco. We do a lot of “official” type things for Micah because of his #Lodd. We go to ceremonies and lay wreaths and listen to bagpipes. We do...
Make the Decision to Choose Joy

Make the Decision to Choose Joy

Grief is: making a decision to choose joy. (Some days your body chooses for you, and it’s rarely joy- like panic attacks. 💩 happens 🤷‍♀️) But some days you get to choose whether to stay in bed or whether to fight the powerful compulsion of pain. The compulsion...
Rachael Flick