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Heroes Live Forever

Heroes Live Forever

September 11, 2001 “Never Forget” We have memorials and events and vigils. We bow our heads in silence. If you ask someone where they were when they learned about the terrorist attack on 9/11, they remember with crystal clarity. When we say “never forget,” we’re...

Grief Is: Endurance

Grief Is: Endurance

Grief is : endurance. I probably had unrealistic expectations for myself. I probably thought if I dug deep enough and did enough therapy and self reflection, that I could shorten the duration or lessen the intensity of grief. . When I imagined what life might look and...

When God Says “No” to Our Prayers

When God Says “No” to Our Prayers

Last week a toddler in California named Olive died suddenly and unexpectedly. People in Olive's church and throughout the nation galvanized around the belief that Jesus is a miracle working God. They believed Him when He said we would do equal and greater works in His...

Grief Is: Dread

Grief Is: Dread

Grief is: anticipatory anxiety. A burning wick. A slow fade. A ticking clock. “How bad is this one going to hurt?” you ask yourself. Will it come in fits and starts? Will it suck me into its’ undertow until my lungs burn? Will it catch me off guard, a blow that...

Father’s Day 2020

Father’s Day 2020

Dear Micah, Happy Father’s Day! You’d be amazed at how the twins are growing. Eliana doesn’t even hesitate to throw herself off the high dive into a full layout. Levi runs for the pure joy of it, legs in full swing, a perfect mirror of your roadrunner stride. I think...

Missing Your Pandemic Buddy

Missing Your Pandemic Buddy

Grief is: missing your pandemic partner. Your trauma buddy. The person you process your decisions with. . . . Being in a global crisis has put all of us in uncharted territory. There’s no handbook for handling quarantine and all the physical and emotional fallout from...

Pasting on a Smile

Pasting on a Smile

Grief is: pasting on a smile. For a girl with a bad case of RBF, grief did nothing to help my smile. Honestly, it’s ok not to smile. (Lord help those JW missionaries who paid a visit after Micah’s death. My scowl was probably frightening. I didn’t even attempt to be...

A Change of Plans

A Change of Plans

Grief is: a change of plans. This phrase is so understated it's shocking. And it's powerful. 13 years ago I planned to spend the rest of my life with Micah. Change of plans. 10 years ago I planned to have children and raise them with my husband. Change of plans. 3...

Rachael Flick