Grief is: buying a birthday cake for your dead husband’s birthday and crying quietly through the aisles of Costco. We do a lot of “official” type things for Micah because of his #Lodd.

We go to ceremonies and lay wreaths and listen to bagpipes. We do lots of things for honor.

But today, our grief looks different. It’s less formal, less professional. Today we celebrate the Micah we knew as friends and family. The Micah who loved bowling and lazer tag and chocolate cake.

Today I’ll put aside my #LEO blue dresses and black high heels and in jeans and a t shirt, the twins and I will smile through our tears as we celebrate the Micah who was silly, fun and fiercely competitive at air hockey and skee ball.

This is our second birthday without Micah. The elephant sitting on my chest bearing witness to the fact that I don’t miss him any less than the day he died. My heaviness and my hope sit hand in hand today.

No pretty bows, clean lines or tidy scriptures to pull my grief together today. But we fight forward and today we remember the Micah whom we love with tears and laughter.

#GriefIs #HumanizeTheBadge #MicahFlick #BlueLivesMatter #ThinBlueLine #BlueLineWidow #SoloParent #LifeAfterLoss #BreakthroughHealingWholeness

Rachael Flick